the mathewes family

It became very windy outside today. Georgia, my neighbor, remarked on how fast the clouds had been moving all day. The clouds at all levels were speeding by, as if to whisk us into winter more quickly than we'd like. And that's what they've been doing. After an exceptionally balmy day, I can feel the chill creeping in from my still-cracked-open windows. I don't want to shut them--I love the fresh air--but soon it will come time for us to shut up the house in the evenings completely, and hide under our down blanket for warmth. And although you can get cabin fever, there's plenty of warmth to be had indoors--warmth of all kinds.

@ October 28, 2010 9:32 PM

Ruth had her first day of preschool yesterday. The dropoff went rather smoothly. Contrary to stories I had heard about other mothers, I didn't get emotional when I dropped her off. Rather, I found myself waxing sentimental when I saw Steve pull up to our parking space, and pull a sleepy toddler out of the car. She's my big girl now, I thought.

It's a large change in the life of a parent when your child starts having experiences without you around. Of course, that's what growing up entails--more independence. To me, it's frightening and exhilarating to think of all the things that my children will do, say, explore, and more, without me. They're vulnerable, but you have to let go in order to let them learn, and to let your heart stretch a little bit too.

In a way, it's a good thing that human dependence lasts for comparatively long; I don't think parents are built for a mere six week infant-to-adolescent transition, like a kitten. However much we long for our kids to think for themselves, we're just as enthralled with their neediness as they are with us.

None of these thoughts are new, of course. There's nothing new under the sun. But she's my first, and so with her, so much of life is new, like the first sounds of birds in the morning. The changes she goes through are like whiffs of seasons in the air. Tonight I dressed her brother in a red sleeper she wore a year ago. Has it been that long?

@ September 15, 2010 8:42 PM

We're home. We're unpacked. It took almost a whole week, but we did it.

What I'm most excited about is this: in the process of packing and unpacking, I managed to get rid of an astounding amount of stuff. Old posters, items we hadn't used in years, and useless junk that we somehow held on to thinking it was really meaningful made its way to the trash. Interesting books, my framed artwork, kids' clothes, and other useful do-dads went to friends, family, or the thrift store.

I feel so much lighter now, and that when we move out of seminary, our moving van will be able to accommodate everything with room to spare. Having just what we need (and maybe a little more) is exactly the way I like to feel.

This is new to me; I used to think I was a collector. I collected books, sea shells, random interesting junk that struck my fancy. After reading Your Money or Your Life, my habits towards my belongings came under fire--what was I doing with all these random collections taking up space? I didn't cherish them; they irked me. I felt obligated to keep them for--well, I couldn't figure out the reason, really.

And so I got rid of a bunch of them. And now I feel better. I'm going to keep up the de-cluttering habit on a weekly basis from now on; it will keep me excited and mentally liberated to take great care for the items I genuinely value and enjoy.

@ September 12, 2010 8:02 PM